Hayibo.com - ANC's soul leaves ANC, enters Winnie's wig

ANC's soul leaves ANC, enters Winnie's wig

PRETORIA. Just days after complaining that the ANC had "lost its soul", reformed pyromaniac Winnie Madikizela-Mandela has confirmed that the soul of ANC is now inhabiting her wig. She said that the wig has non-racial principles and a pro-poor outlook, but has a tendency to jump off her head and set things on fire if it doesn't get its way.

Madikizela-Mandela told the Sunday Independent on the weekend that the ANC had lost its soul as officials scrabble for power within the party and its alliance.

However, this morning an exhausted but elated Madikizela-Mandela confirmed that the ANC's soul had been lost for less than 24 hours before it reappeared in one of her wigs.

She said she had been up most of the night trying to coax the wig out from under her dressing table.

"It was very headstrong," she said. "It was full of rebellion and youthful energy. But I appealed to its traditions of discipline and selflessness, and it obeyed."

She added that she had also sprayed it with enough hairspray to render it unconscious and had then fished it out from under the dressing table with a soup ladle.

She admitted that this morning she had been forced to beat the wig unconscious again with one of her humanitarian awards after it had tried to rouse her other wigs into committing to some sort of resistance struggle.

"It wanted its comrades to deploy as cadres dedicated to bringing about the National Democratic Revolution," she said.

But, she said, as the other wigs did not have souls and were therefore just inanimate cosmetic accessories, the ANC wig had been "disappointed".

According to Madikizela-Mandela the ANC wig has a tendency to slide towards the left of her head, although in the presence of big business it quickly straightens up and even sidles slightly to the right.

However, she said, when it didn't get its own way – such as when it demanded the parole and pardon of convicted hairdressers – it had "a tendency to set things on fire".

"For some reason it associates conflagration with liberation," sighed Winnie. "I don't know where it gets these ideas."